Leaving the Rush Behind | Service, Alignment, and What We’re Taking Into 2026

Jan 6

Episode 28 with Jill Griffin & Molly Bierman

In this episode of No Permission Necessary, Molly Bierman and Jill Griffin reflect on service, boundaries, and the subtle ways productivity, helping, and leadership can quietly drift into self-serving patterns.

As they look ahead to 2026, the conversation explores what it means to give without keeping score, how rushing and constant availability lead to dysregulation, and why transition time matters more than we often realize. Through personal stories from work, family life, and leadership, they unpack the difference between being truly of service and operating from obligation, pressure, or ego.

This episode invites listeners to slow down, examine where they are being rushed or reactive, and intentionally choose what they are leaving behind and what they are bringing forward. It is a grounded conversation about alignment, presence, and redefining success without burning out or forcing connection.

Jill Griffin (00:21)
Welcome back everybody. And you know what? Just so I don't forget to say this, wherever you are listening to us, if you can head over to YouTube and subscribe to our YouTube channel, we would love that. No permission necessary. You can watch us we talk about all the things and all the faces I'm sure I make. Because most of you probably just hear us in your earbuds, but we are live on YouTube as well.
Molly Bierman (00:35)
We would.
And we would love also if you are just listening to our episodes occasionally on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, wherever you stream your podcasts, please hit the follow button. Thank you so much. It's the month of it's not the month of giving, but is it the month of giving?
Give to no permission necessary and just give us a follow. We don't need any monetary donations. We just need some follows. Yeah.
Jill Griffin (01:14)
Yeah, we just want some support, which
I will say, let's talk about a win from this week that this morning I received two really lovely messages from people. One was a former employee and one was this woman that I've mentored for business over the years, but out of the blue, one of them messaged me and was like,
I, you are just so inspiring. Like I love following you. I was just ranting about you to my sister. And then the other one left me a voice note and was like, I just want to let you, I just want to let you know I've been like ranting to people in the field about you, how you're such a powerhouse and you know, I really like to get together, but like this whole thing. And I was just like, you know what? I'm bringing that into 2026, just randomly letting people know when you think about them. It's, it's nice.
Molly Bierman (01:48)
It's so nice.
feel like that is really nice. you know, I don't know if I've ever told you this, I probably have, but there's been many a times in my life that when I'm thinking of someone, I'm very cognizant to reach out, right? And it could be somebody who I haven't talked to in five years. It could be somebody who I haven't talked to in 10 years, if I even dream about somebody, because typically there's some level of telly going on.
which is, you know, some level of energy and vibrations that are connected to the other person. in a lot of situations that's either lifted somebody up, potentially given them life-saving treatment, because I think I think a lot about people that are in their struggle and in their challenge and in their relapse potentially, but it really is reaching out when no one's watching, doing something for somebody else when no one's watching, you know, not looking for praise about it, just to really, you know.
Let's bring some uplift to, you know, let's bring some uplifting energy to this world. Okay. We're coming in hot to 2026.
Jill Griffin (03:05)
That reminds me...
Seriously, I was actually just messaging with somebody the other day because I had posted something about normalizing referrals and the whole marketing thing. It was basically in the essence of your biggest skill is helping somebody without expecting something in return, essentially. Which, you know...
Molly Bierman (03:28)
Yes.
Jill Griffin (03:31)
We've talked about this on other episodes, but for good or bad, feel like in our field, there is a little bit of a quick pro quo, like, I help you, now I have a favor, you're gonna help me. I think it's like unstated sometimes. And I think...
Molly Bierman (03:42)
think
that's with all, well, a lot of industries. I think that's in business, in relationships, we get into this place where it becomes transactional.
Jill Griffin (03:45)
a lot, right?
And I've had people say to me like, well, what are you gonna like charge them to do that? Or what are, you you should think about X, Y, Z if you're gonna help this person out. And it's like, I just don't naturally think like that. I just, if I'm in a position, I kind of just feel like...
God has put me in a position to help people. And it's not always up to me what that help looks like. I think because I'm a therapist, a lot of times people assume that means that I am providing therapy services to help people or getting people into treatment. But I will tell you that a lot of the ways that I am kind of asked to show up and help people really doesn't have anything to do with that.
Molly Bierman (04:12)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, mean, look, there are ways that you can be, I think this goes back to service versus a paid position. We as humans need to be involved in some level of service. At least that's my mantra, right? And so doing that in a way where you can give back not expecting anything in return, when you're doing it and you're earning a paycheck, you are expecting something in return. You're showing up to a job and then expecting to get paid. So delineating that and delineating that
also in 2026, I think is important. Like where am I being of service? Where am I teaching my kids to be of service? And where am I showing up? Because yes, it can feel passionate and purposeful what I do for work, but I'm also naturally collecting a paycheck.
Jill Griffin (05:23)
I think I have passed that message along. I'll tell you a little story about when we were in New York City recently. There was a woman, which I will tell you, since my last visit to New York, there wasn't really a ton of homeless people on the streets. I don't know if it was because it was busy around the holiday times and I don't know why, but it just wasn't as prominent.
Molly Bierman (05:37)
Interesting.
Jill Griffin (05:48)
There's always some, but I feel like the last couple times I've been, it was a lot. And I've always had conversations. We have this with my children, you know, I'm the one that gives money out the window. We've talked about this, I feel like, before.
Molly Bierman (05:50)
Right.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, of course.
Jill Griffin (06:05)
And mainly because of my history and also because like I don't ever want my children to grow up talking negatively about those people. Cause we don't know. We don't know what their story is or why they're on that corner. We're not gonna pass judgment. know, we're gonna say a prayer. We're gonna help if we can, whatever. So we walk by this woman who was, you know, like they have like the scarves and the hat, like those tables that they're selling stuff. And there's this woman standing next to it. And she was emphatically asking for money to help her buy food.
Molly Bierman (06:16)
Right.
Yeah, sure.
Jill Griffin (06:33)
And we were in this, we're crowded, it's a busy sidewalk, sea of people, we just keep walking. My daughter asked me.
Molly Bierman (06:36)
Sea of People.
Let's just paint
the picture for one second that Jill decided to go see the Rockettes with her kids the day after Thanksgiving, not, I mean, basically the busiest day of the year in New York City. Proceed.
Jill Griffin (06:51)
it was though, because the tree wasn't even lit yet.
Molly Bierman (06:54)
okay.
Jill Griffin (06:55)
The train was crazy because there was a basketball game at MSG. That's what the issue was. But in the city, no, that was because of the Yukon game. All the people on the train, but like in the city, manageable. ⁓
Molly Bierman (06:59)
⁓ okay, because when I saw those pictures I was like, are you okay?
Okay, so did you buy the
table of goods from?
Jill Griffin (07:12)
No, I kept walking in the sea of people. Not because I'm, this is the, it's end of the day. I have no reason, right? My daughter, she goes, mom, why don't you help that woman? I didn't have an answer. She kept asking me why I help this woman for the entire block. Like she wanted an answer because she could not understand. Because like typically, I do. I do. And so like there was, I did not turn around.
Molly Bierman (07:34)
You do. Did you turn around?
Wow. She's-
Jill Griffin (07:41)
Because again,
like literally, like for me to then turn around and that, it would have been a whole thing. But it's not really a good excuse, but then I'm still thinking about it today. Like I thought about it the rest of the night. I'm like, why didn't you help that woman? Like I could have helped her. I could have gave her some money to go buy. She was looking for money to get a room for the night, I think. But yeah, and I didn't really have a good explanation. But what I did say to her though, I said, know,
Unfortunately, Audrey, I can't help everybody that needs help. And so sometimes I have to pick and choose where I'm most needed and where my help can be utilized, whether that's my financial resources, whether that's my time. Like, I can't help everybody.
Molly Bierman (08:21)
Sure.
No, we cannot.
Jill Griffin (08:27)
But I will say,
I will say though, bringing into 2026, the tail end of 2025, I really did have kind of a aha moment about service in general. Like how am I showing up beyond just my own needs and my business needs? Because like, I feel like showing up for the business and my staff and all of that, like it still trickles down to being self-serving. That's kind of like what I, that's.
Molly Bierman (08:55)
Yes.
Jill Griffin (08:57)
Like I had this moment where it's like, all right, there's a lot about you that's going on right now. And that doesn't feel great.
Molly Bierman (09:04)
Wow. Alan,
are you listening? Alan, PJ Gaff.
Jill Griffin (09:09)
Yeah, we're turning over a new leaf in 2026. Yeah, so I was like, all right, we gotta think, and not in like, I'm sure from an external point of view, maybe Alan probably got the most affected if we're being honest. If we're being honest.
Molly Bierman (09:13)
It's so good.
Jill Griffin (09:29)
Cause you know, he lives with me, but beyond that, like I don't think anybody externally. Yeah. Well, well, but I'm saying because he sees it all the time. Like he probably sees my like selfishness more than anybody else, but like externally, I don't think anybody else was probably like, wow, she's really like a self-centered, but that's, but that's what happens if like, I'm not watching out for that. Like, because we just get swept up in, we got to do this. We got to do this. We got to do this. And it's like,
Molly Bierman (09:32)
He just lives with you? No, he's married to you and he's the father of your kids?
Yes, yes.
Yes!
Jill Griffin (09:58)
You know what made me think of it? It was a podcast that I was listening to and the woman was just talking about like, everything's like me, me, me, me, me. And she was like talking about all this stuff. And it was all these examples that I never really thought of as being like self-centered, like thinking about you. But it's like, okay, yeah. We're not, we're gonna try not to do that anymore.
Molly Bierman (10:13)
Yeah.
So, mean, give
some examples, I feel like I can name a few, which would be one is like working out, right? You think you're doing it because it's like contributing, at least that's my experience, like this morning, working out, feeling like this is contributing to my healthy lifestyle to then be available, right? Secondary gain is available to my kids and longevity and, know.
But that's still me time.
Jill Griffin (10:43)
Well, that depends because I feel like the workout stuff for me, I purposely schedule that before anybody's up so that it doesn't impact the rest of the family.
Molly Bierman (10:43)
It up.
Right.
Right, okay, so give me an example of something that you would say is that you could identify with when that woman shared that about, know, it may be dressed up a little bit more nicely with a bow on it, but it's still about you.
Jill Griffin (11:09)
honestly feel like it was a lot of the work stuff. Like, I found myself getting into a little bit of a resentment around like, I'm always like giving, giving, giving. I'm showing up for all these people. I'm doing this, that, and the other. It's like, yeah, you're doing that because you're trying to help people perform in a way to better the business, which at the end of the day, you're doing that for your own gain.
Molly Bierman (11:11)
Yeah.
Yeah?
Jill Griffin (11:37)
There's a reason
you want that, right? And so I think it just is a, it's a subtle shift, but it's like, how am I pouring into people for their development, whether or not it, it betters us because there is a difference, right? Like there are, there are ways that I show up for staff or other people that like, that has no impact on me. Sometimes it's even, we've talked about it here. Like sometimes that's having the conversation of like, you might be better off somewhere else.
Molly Bierman (11:53)
Yes.
Jill Griffin (12:07)
and helping them get there.
Molly Bierman (12:07)
Well, I think that's been
a nice shift for me because I have 1099 contractors who collaborate with our team in a variety of different ways. And switching from a time where I had a full roster of W2 employees, their requirements are just vastly different. And so are the requirements of the employer.
And so yesterday bringing everyone together was really my mission and vision for bringing a bunch of folks together to meet one another was to help improve their book of business, right? Like how do we support individuals when it doesn't necessarily affect our, you know, bottom line, right? And yeah, that offers connection and yeah, that offers community and yes, they, I'm sure felt very much supported. And it gave them an opportunity to say, hey,
I would love to know this person who I've collaborated with on a case and how can we support one another in a different way, right? And so, I don't know, I do love the idea of just stepping back, not only in the work, you know, not only in the workspace, but also just in family space, in your community, in my community, and saying, where am I being a giver?
you know, rather than a taker. I mean, that's such an old school kind of foundational principle that you and I have been raised with. And that even happened before recovery. I mean, I recovery obviously offers that because if anyone is listening who's in the recovery space or works with clients in the recovery space, a lot of it is where can you be of service, where can you be of service, where can you be of service. But I was taught once I started to, you know, have a life that was more robust than just
you know, a minimum wage job and, you know, renting a room, etc. that, you know, what you really have to be aware of and cognizant of is where are you being of service in all the areas of your life. And for me, that means really taking a closer look because those are the things that keep me aligned with my North Star, you know.
And if I'm slipping away from that in any given time, yeah, I 100 % agree with you when we talk about work, is that work becomes the priority and it is masked by good intent, but really there's areas that could be more reciprocal, right? Giving without expecting anything in return.
Jill Griffin (14:38)
I think it just almost happens for me and like, it's like a dysregulation thing because I've just come out of...
I feel like just coming out of like a higher stress time with work stuff where, you know, things just felt a little bit more out of control. So then I am trying to like make things feel more in control, whatever that, you know, my mind feels like. But then what ends up happening is that I'm actually doing more than I want to be doing and what I've kind of set as boundaries for myself.
Molly Bierman (14:59)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Jill Griffin (15:13)
And you know, my husband is usually the mirror when he's like, hey, like this is what's going on. Like you're on your phone more, you're kind of, cause I, I find it so hard if I'm in the zone with some of that stuff to disconnect that then like I really be present. Um, and I had a situation recently where I was able to say like, Hey, this was like a quick transition into us having like date night time. And now I can't turn the work brain off. Like it was really hard for me to be present, which like that doesn't happen to me.
Molly Bierman (15:26)
Same.
Jill Griffin (15:43)
a ton, but it's one of those moments where it's like, I actually just saw somebody talking about this, how like, if home life bleeds into work life, you start to become resentful at the home life, and if work life starts bleeding into home life, then you start becoming resentful of the work life.
Molly Bierman (15:57)
Well, how much time
are you giving yourself to transition? mean, I talked to you last night at the end of my day and I had gone from like a quick transition from end of work to, you know, a meeting with my husband to, you know, a conversation with a friend earlier in the morning. It was like back to back to back to back to back. And there was not a lot of room for transition. And so when that happens, I do have people that are able to call me out on it and
I'm going to speak this into existence because I feel like there's much more accountability when I say it out loud on the podcast, which did happen a couple months ago when I spoke into existence the whole holiday. Stress-free, like be a planner, be proactive. It's working. So guys, you know, thank you for the thank you for the accountability. But one of the things that I want to be more accountable to in twenty twenty six is really utilizing insight timer. I mean,
Insane Timer, you want to like support our podcast, we're here for that. And I have been doing that in the morning, just a five minute quick meditation. It doesn't have to be anything long. And even in the middle of the day, if I can just click that on, I can really do wonders. I mean, my husband and I went from that quick transition from work to, you know, you know, a meeting together and there was this ability to have
Jill Griffin (17:08)
I know, I'm struggling with being.
to just ground yourself. I think part of what I wanna bring into 2026 is that transition time. Like there are times, and we just talked about this, there are times where somebody's asking me questions or wants to download about something work-related, but I'm in the middle of bringing a kid to a soccer thing, bringing a kid to basketball, bringing someone this, we're cooking dinner, this, that, and the other. And then I'm either burning dinner,
Molly Bierman (17:22)
quick meditation to grab myself.
Yes. Yes.
Jill Griffin (17:52)
or I'm answering a question that now tomorrow I got to answer for because what I said to do, not really my best work, you know? So it's like, I need to be aware that if I'm not fully present in home or at work, like it's not my best space. So I need to like create more of that transition time. I think what I have already noticed this and I did restructure my schedule.
going into this new year because what was happening is I was switching tasks so much throughout the day that I was becoming so, I just wasn't present for any of it. so, well, because for me, if I'm in the zone working on something and then there's like a hard stop and I have to switch my brain and how I'm thinking into something else, especially if it's clients, like,
Molly Bierman (18:24)
Yes.
Couldn't get anything done.
Jill Griffin (18:43)
If I have to co-regulate with another person in the room, especially a client, but that could also be a staff member. If I have to co-regulate with that person, but I'm like still thinking about the spreadsheets that I'm working on and this problem that I'm trying to solve, it's really hard for me to co-regulate and be present in the room with that person. And that's not fair to whoever's sitting in front of me.
Molly Bierman (18:47)
Yes.
Yes.
I mean.
Jill Griffin (19:10)
So I really, I made a conscious effort. I had to discharge some clients and I also lumped all my clinical time together so that like I can just be in a block space of like, this is my clinical time. Everybody else can wait. This is what I'm doing now. And it's easier for me to stay in that regulated space for an extended period of time than to like switch from that to a business task. You know what I mean?
Molly Bierman (19:35)
Yeah, and I feel like a lot of that you've helped me with and I think a lot of the things that we talk about on here we practice, you know, there are some days where Jill will text me and say, hey, I need this, this and this from you. And I'm like, there's no way you're getting that from me right now because then I can just be honest, like, hey, I'm in the midst of this and I will get it to you and it will likely be tonight when you've powered down. But don't worry that it'll be done before tomorrow.
You know, so again, just being transparent and honest with your transitions. And I think also that's a lot of what you've helped. Right. For me, yeah, and I want to make sure that I'm following, you know. The never ending to do list.
Jill Griffin (20:07)
and your work style. Like, we all have different ways that we work.
I just checked some stuff off of my to-do list that I didn't realize that I did and that felt good.
Molly Bierman (20:25)
Amazing. So when we think about things that we want to really, you know, maybe top three things that we're taking with us into 2026, let's just do a little quick rapid fire to wrap up.
Jill Griffin (20:36)
three things that we're taking in a 2026.
Molly Bierman (20:39)
Maybe three things we're taking in and three things we're leaving behind. Doesn't have to be three, but...
Jill Griffin (20:45)
The things I'm taking in, number one, I'm leaving behind being rushed. Being rushed is like the worst, I am dysregulated immediately if I'm rushed, so I'm gonna leave that behind. Number two thing that I'm leaving behind is wasting time. I am really good at wasting time.
Molly Bierman (20:50)
Mm.
Jill Griffin (21:02)
Like, and honestly, it's like a dissociation thing for me. It's like a checkout. It's like.
Molly Bierman (21:08)
Yes, yeah,
a little quick break, a little quick vacation on a social media algorithm.
Jill Griffin (21:12)
little quick break and then it's like an hour later, an
hour later, it doesn't even have to, I will go down a research rabbit hole. I mean, I love a rabbit hole. And so I just have to be mindful, the morning routine especially. I've really dragged it out and I need to like tighten it up a little bit. The things that I'm bringing in.
Molly Bierman (21:23)
Yeah. Yep.
Jill Griffin (21:33)
Honestly, I feel like meditation has to be one of the things I bring into 2026.
Molly Bierman (21:40)
Great, we love this. Okay?
Jill Griffin (21:43)
I am not thrilled about saying that out loud. I'm really not.
Molly Bierman (21:47)
It's been nice. You know I do it with my kids too. We do some deep... Yeah, well my son goes to a school where he has to do these, you know, he has this little morning huddle and part of the morning huddle is mountain, you know, they take mountain breaths, which are these big breaths and they hold their hand up and they go in and out. See, you just did it. That was it. You just did that without me even prompting.
Jill Griffin (21:51)
The inside timer, the belly breath. I do that sometimes.
Molly Bierman (22:14)
And so we've been practicing that. So I think for me, I'm definitely taking in, coming with me is meditation. Coming with me is a little bit more of a regimented exercise routine and consistency around it. Not to say that I haven't been doing that, but I think sometimes I can just say, it's still dark out. I don't want to get up as early. So it's almost not so much just the exercise. It really is just the quiet time before the kids wake up.
and I would say the other thing I'm bringing in is connection with my husband. More time where we can separate from the hustle, you know? So for me, I feel like that that's important.
Jill Griffin (22:53)
Yeah, I will bring that in too, which I feel like we've been more, we've called each other out because there's times it's so easy to just end up talking about work. And there's times, and there's times where I'm like, hey, so yeah, I actually don't want to talk about work. I don't want to think about these people.
Molly Bierman (23:02)
Exactly, when you work in the same space.
Yes.
Jill Griffin (23:11)
think it's holding each other accountable to that. Yeah.
Molly Bierman (23:14)
I think what I'm leaving behind too is...
But I think I'm leaving behind really closing a chapter that I feel like has been closed of my previous chapters, my previous iterations of life. I think sometimes I like to kind of peek back there a little bit and sometimes ruminate back there a little bit more than I should. And whether that's from a work perspective, whether that's from...
past relationships, in past friendships, past work relationships. So I feel like I'm just letting some of that energy go and if those individuals are supposed to travel back at some point they will and if they're not, they're not. So, and it's not even from a place of resentment or anything like that. It's just that sometimes I ruminate and then that brings me away from.
present, know, the relationships that are currently in my life and where I'm nurturing my relationships. So I feel like I'm, I'm leaving some of the past chapters and iterations behind and I'm also leaving behind rushing. I mean, or really just being late.
Jill Griffin (24:09)
Yes.
Molly Bierman (24:20)
And I'm speaking that into existence because somewhere along the line, I became someone who's late.
Jill Griffin (24:26)
It's not a good look. My brother's always late and we make fun of
Molly Bierman (24:28)
It's not a good look. And it's not even like I'm late.
It's not even that I'm like really late. It's just that I push the limit on the time. Like I don't give myself even one minute buffer. It's my, I'm leaving behind the rushed transitions.
Jill Griffin (24:39)
Transitions, yeah.
I heard the other day that 2025 was the year of...
I don't know what the, I don't know if it's the in animal or something, but basically they were saying how 2025 was the year of shedding, of letting go of everything kind of like something's kind of crumbling or falling apart. And I identify with that. I just think it's more in terms of how I view things, how I see things, like not in terms of like my life fell apart, but just like, there's just some layers that had to kind of come off and go away. And so I agree with bringing in.
Molly Bierman (25:04)
Yeah.
Yes.
Jill Griffin (25:20)
to 2026 is like, it's actually the year of the Phoenix. So it's like rebuilding, rebirth, all that stuff. But it's like, at the age that I'm at and the things that I have going on in the full life that I have, what I'm not bringing into 2026 is drama or any sort of conflict. I'm not here for it. I'm not doing it.
So I'm bringing into 2026 some alignment around if we're vibing, we're vibing. If we're not, that's cool too. But I'm not forcing anything in 2026. I want 2026 to be easy. And what I mean by, it doesn't mean that I'm shying away from hard work. I don't even know that that's possible for me. But what I am saying is it's gonna just flow.
Are you putting on some Mary J in the background for me?
I mean, she's right though. We're just not, not doing it.
Molly Bierman (26:16)
You knew that, dude. You were like, you were dialed in quick.
Jill Griffin (26:20)
Yeah.
But I mean, do you agree though?
Molly Bierman (26:22)
Taylor, cue a little No More Drama.
Jill Griffin (26:25)
Do you agree though? It's like, we're not doing, it's not the vibe. I'm not here
Molly Bierman (26:30)
It's not the
vibe. It's not the vibe. we're guys, we're giving you permission to.
leave some things behind and take, you know, take some ambitions, take some goals, take some qualities with you into 2026. So, yes, please share with us, let us know if there's any, you know, feedback. And we also want to know what we're taking with us in 2026 on no permission necessary. So what is it that you guys want to hear about?
Jill Griffin (26:46)
And we want to hear about what they are. So share them with us.
Molly Bierman (27:04)
Do want to hear about topics? Do you want to hear any good, you know, interviews? Do you have people you would like to hear that you'd like us to invite on the podcast? Tag them, mention them, spam us with all your requests and welcome to 2026 y'all. We made
Jill Griffin (27:14)
Yes.
Let us know.